Everything you want is an excuse for a feeling that you are trying to feel - everything is symbolic
- Misia
- Dec 18, 2025
- 4 min read
Updated: Jan 11
We can have it all if we want, we really can. You can have anything … as long as you really do understand what you really want. Perhaps you might read this and get frustrated, think that this idea is something as idealistic as the concept of losing all attachment to all of your desires, to cleanse yourself of want and reach enlightenment.
What I am going to explain to you isn't like that. It's a reframe, but I hope that it's something that can help you to practically reach a deeper sense of wholeness and who knows… perhaps this might even help you to reach your craziest material desires.
I can't help but think that most people don't really know what they really want. Often, what we think we want is a symbol of a feeling we want to experience. A philosophical liberation or a vision of something that will balance the scales to bring us to a deeper place of wholeness. Or If you wanted to get fancy and technical, Individuation.
For example, if you are born into chaos, you are more likely to crave things that symbolise order, minimalism. If you didn't have a stable mother figure, perhaps you would crave things that symbolise comfort or warmth. Perhaps you have a deep insecurity, which will mirror too somehow in what you want, products and outcomes that compensate for how you feel.
We all want to come to a place of balance, to feel whole. Life is filled with ebbs and flows, pushes and pulls, but in the end, we are all just trying to come back to our centre. Every feeling that we reach for is to compensate for a counterpart; that's just human nature.
What we want is an excuse for a feeling that we are trying to feel, other than our basic needs.
I remember realising this about a year ago. I had just moved into my first apartment by myself, being supported by none other than my own business, which wasn't looking so stable at the time. I didn't feel like I could comfortably treat myself. Big shopping trips or Holland and Barrett wellness hauls were out of the question. I went to my small town home bargains and got one of those 99p golden peel-off face masks to comfort myself with a small ritual of self-care. As I was walking back, I remember thinking… I would almost bet money on the fact that this won't really do much good for my skin; it might even break me out, but I'm still going to do it because it will make me feel better.
When my face was covered in a sticky golden goo, and I looked in the mirror, however, I couldn't help but feel like I was taking care of myself, that life is in order, and I could relax. And that is the power of a symbol. In this case, the face mask was a symbol of relaxation; putting on the mask was a symbolic ritual of order and self-care, feelings that I'm certain overrode its physical properties. A lot of the physical things that we do are for deeply metaphysical reasons, and we don't often question them or consult that part of ourselves.
Perhaps you think that you want the latest trendy coat for winter, the one that you have is perfectly fine, but your idols have been pictured wearing this new shiny thing. The coat becomes a symbol of the life that you crave living through them. Its something new, a feeling of revitalisation, confidence in the version of yourself that you portray.
What happens when you learn how to cultivate the feelings that we are looking for in the things that we physically desire? Feel what it is that you want to feel through whatever it is you are reaching for before your ego has a chance to tell you otherwise?
Let me tell you what happens: life feels good. You can feel all of the abundance without all the extra steps that your ego has put in place. The best part is that when you create the emotional resonance to what you were reaching for in a material goal, the material goal becomes more attainable in mysterious ways , which I expand on in blogs “The Peace Paradox” and “How Emotions Become Lenses to our perception”
This degree of detachment might sound idealistic but I promise it works in practice. This is another reason that I hold a meditation practice. Dont get me wrong, I like shiny things, and I don't plan on renouncing all of my material desires any time soon… but letting go of just a few of them to allow myself that emotional abundance, perhaps.
With a meditation practice, not only do you get deeper clarity of your underlying emotions but actually, there are methods that can help you to reach new elevated states. If you want joy you can meditate on symbols of joy again and again; eventually, you will start really connecting with that feeling of joy. Or whatever feeling you are looking for. You can also visualise outcomes to become emotionally open to them or repeat affirmations. You can literally rewire your brain and your emotional connection to whatever you want. That's power, Inner alchemy.
The more you can cultivate a feeling in meditation when you are in deep introspection, the more easily that feeling will show up day to day.
For further reading on how this principle can be taken further, check out blogs “The Peace Paradox” or “How Emotions Become Lenses to our perception”
In the meantime, feel free to explore our meditation resources that I have created. Join our online meditation group! I guide live online sessions once every two weeks, and with the subscription, you also get the audio version of every script along with bonus PDF sheets and exclusive blogs.
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